How to Write . . . Anything

 

Now, I did say by reading this that you would learn how to write “anything,” right? That’s a tall order. So you’re thinking, “Yeah, right.” Well, I’ll tell you right now why you should not only read this article but print it out and refer to it often for all the writing you’ll ever do. That’s right. Ever.

Read on.

When being instructed or informed through an article, you’re mostly reading about what someone has read or what someone has done. Of course, if you want to know how to get rich, you’ll read the rich person’s articles before reading those by someone who has merely read the how-to-get-rich books.

So in order to see why you must keep reading this article, let me tell you what I’ve “done.”

I have read and critiqued more than 100,000 pages from the well over 100 writing classes I’ve taught. The majority of those classes are at the college level: developmental and transfer composition, critical thinking, critical thinking through literature, technical writing (business memos, letters, etc.) and introduction to literature. I have also written and published hundreds of articles and essays; numerous poems; two books with three in the works (fiction, non-fiction, children); hundreds of jokes for myself and other professional performers, and so forth.

Now you’re thinking “La de da. Big deal, Mr. Big Time. Whatever.” But hey, I didn’t write this to brag . . .  OK, I did, but that’s an insecurity issue I need to get into with my therapist. The main reason I tell you all the above is to show you that I’m not just some guy giving you recycled material. I’ve been there, done that.

OK, with that out of the way, let’s get into how to write “anything.”

In order to write well, you need to start at the top. What does that mean? You need to learn how to write at the most formal level using all the standard rules for grammar, sentence structure, proper pronoun usage, subject / verb agreement, the mechanical, and so on. But that’s not all. That’s just the technical stuff.

In order to write and write well, you have to read the masters. Who are they? The people who not only write well but, preferably, those you admire.

Don’t have any? I’ll give you a few suggestions.

Poetry
Charles Simic
Mark Strand
Adrienne Rich
Louise Gluck
Lucille Clifton
Maya Angelou
Robert Frost
Edgar Allen Poe
Russell Edson
Wislawa Szymborska
Molana Jalal-eDin Runi

Fiction
Douglas Adams
Tom Robbins
Isaac Asimov
Hans Christen Anderson
Dr. Suess
C.S. Lewis
Martin Luther King
Homer
Henry James
Jack Kerouc
Norman Mailer
Stephen King
George Orwell
Saki
J. D. Salinger
Jonathan Swift
Mark Twain
Gore Vidal
Kurt Vonnegut
Tom Wolfe
Oscar Wilde
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Isabel Allende
Ayn Rand

Of course these aren’t exhaustive lists, and they aren’t presented to give you the “top authors of all time” list, but rather a few of the best that I have read. If you desire, you may drop by and give me a list of your favorites, as well.

Nevertheless, what do you do with all this reading? Simply sit there with a good cup of jo or tea, relax and enjoy? Nope. Sorry, you’re here to do some work to improve your writing. So what specifically do you do?

Read on.

I suggest that you read a poem or a chapter noticing style, rhythm, diction (word choice), syntax (word arrangement), pacing, where paragraphs break, punctuation use, figures of speech (metaphor, simile, personification), and so on.

As you read, notice how the author begins, maintains the theme, and concludes. What is he or she doing to get from point to point. More technically, you can look at the paragraphs to see how the author transitions from one sentence to the next, paragraph to paragraph, section to section. Notice how the author keeps the paragraphs together, keeps them unified: all sentences maintaining the main idea of that group of sentences. Also, take a real close look at how the words are arranged or ordered. Is the author using simple, complex, or compound sentences? Meaning, is she like Hemingway who used mostly simple sentences? Or like many other authors who combine sentences with an occasional coordinating conjunction or subordinate clause. Are the sentences passive or active? And so on.

Now, at this point, many are wondering, what’s he saying?

That’s a lot of information, so here’s a few examples to help clarify.

Passive sentence

The barn was struck by the lightning.

Active sentence The lightning struck the barn.

These two simple sentences are different in that one is more emphatic, gets to the point quicker, and does a better job of keeping the reader’s attention. That’s right, the active sentence.

To see why you need to use simple, complex, and compound sentences, read the following example.

I woke up. I got out of bed. I took a shower. The water was real hot. I went down stairs and ate breakfast. My mom was late for work.

OK, wake up!

You can see why you not only need to combine sentences and add an occasional phrase and clause here and there but also the need for transitions to keep your paragraphs coherent. Here’s the paragraph again.

When I woke that morning, I got out of bed but moved quite slow as I was tired. Jumping in the shower half asleep, it was some time before I noticed the water was quite hot. But it didn’t matter because I didn’t have time to linger. I was late for work. So I went downstairs for breakfast, which was simply grabbing a banana as I ran out the door. I waved to my mom who was late for work too.

So by adding a variety of sentences (a phrase here and a clause there before and after), some transitions, and a little more detail, you have yourself a pretty well-written paragraph.

But notice the rhythm. The pacing. There are a lot of options, so notice where the phrases are placed, clauses, simple sentences, complex sentences, and so on. Generally, after the writer gets the idea down and covers her bases, so to speak, it comes down to actually looking at words, phrases, clauses, sentences, even punctuation. Some writers will replace a comma with a period. Put it back. Add a phrase. Take it out. Put it back. Combine sentences. Take them apart. And so on. I read about one author who looks at every page TWENTY TIMES! Excessive you say? Sure. But to write well, it takes time and work and dedication.

Bottom line, the best thing you can do is read, read often, and read a variety of writers in a variety of genres. As you read and write, you will begin to notice connections that will aid you in a greater understanding of what you are doing. And the more you understand and are able to adapt what other authors have done to your writing, you will begin to write with greater clarity and power.

But what if you’re writing memos for work, articles for article directories, screen plays, emails, essays, and so on. Well, as I said before, you need to know the basics, but that doesn’t mean you need to become a grammar scholar. A good place to start is a writer’s handbook titled The Everyday Writer (Bedford St. Martins). It contains a section called the “20 Most Common Errors,” or errors that will likely give you the most trouble.

Once you get these down, the next step is to read some of the best and get a feel for how they do what they do. You obviously won’t be writing like a poet or master of letters all the time, but if you are able to handle the writing basics, how to turn a phrase, pacing, diction, vocabulary, and so on, you will then be able to pull from your pallet what you need for any occasion.

Good luck and good writing.

Jeff is a Motivation, Self-Improvement, and Success expert and can be found at SelfGrowth.com. He has written 100’s of essays and articles; over 50 poems; and several books: At Amazon.com, you can find Black Body Radiation and the Ultraviolet Catastrophe, a novel to inspire young adults and the young at heart. For more inspiration, get his collection of poems, To Die at the Age of Man at Lulu dot com.  Coming soon: Give and Grow Yourself Rich (July, 2008); Education is a Waste of Time, (early 2009); and a children’s novella The Search for Adriana (late 2008). Currently, he teaches writing and owns Inner Projection, a self-improvement business.

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