Finding the restart button with kids

Dec 27, 2008 by Patricia Dischler

Did you ever have one of those days with your children where you just wish you could hit the restart button? Start the day over and this time avoid all the chaos or bad moods? We’ve all experienced those times when the children are just a little out of control, a little louder than we’d like or not paying attention to what they should be doing. While a restart button isn’t positioned clearly on your child’s back, ready for use, there are ways to find it.

To hit a restart button for a child, break the pattern they are stuck in. Get this behavior to stop abruptly and be replaced with one completely different. This is most effectively accomplished by doing some action yourself that will surprise them and garner their attention. Get creative in finding ways to get their attention, forget the typical such as clapping your hands or singing a “pay attention” song, make it fun and you’ll be much more effective in getting their cooperation! Break the rules, or join them when they do, to snap them into attention. Act in a manner they would never expect, surprise them with your talents! To “restart” effectively means to STOP, then START again.

So first consider what would get them to stop what they are currently doing. For children, this usually means presenting them with some thing or some action that is much more interesting than that which they are playing with or doing at the moment. Once their attention shifts, you can direct it to an activity you’d prefer for them to engage in.

You’ve all heard the expression that “you catch more bees with honey,” meaning being nice is always a better way to gather the attention or cooperation of others. Children are no different. For them, the ruling factor is how much fun they think they will have. If they consider what they are doing more fun than stopping to listen to you talk about the rules of an “inside voice” then you’ll lose.

But, if you present them with something more fun than their current activity, such as the possibility of a surprise or something new, then you’ll win their hearts and attention. Another can phrase we hear is “curiosity killed the cat” but in our case it’s – curiosity kills the chaos! Present the children with something to pique their curiosity and they’ll stop the chaos in a hurry to check it out.

For example, your children are running in circles around the room, possibly screaming just for the fun of it. You walk calmly into the middle of the room with a chair set it down, stand on it (or sit if this is physically challenging), and cover your head with a blanket. The children will possibly slow down down to watch with curiosity when you enter the room carrying a chair, but when you stand and cover your head – WHACK! – that restart button is hit and they will not be able to resist stopping and coming over to see what you’re doing. While under the blanket, take a 10 second hiatis from the chaos! By the time you’re done, the children will be fully engaged in wondering just what you’re doing! You can then surprise them, throw off the blanket with a shout and jump to the floor where giggles and hugs await you. You have effectively restarted their day.

Some other tools for finding that restart button:

-If a child is dumping toys, join them and jump too!

-In a large box, wrap special items such as a book to read together or a cookie recipe to bake together. Bring out into room when things get crazy – but don’t talk about it, just sit box down and walk away! The wrapped box with get their attention and after you firmly have grasped their attention, allow them to rip it open to find the surprise.

-Put on a head set and play music, dance and sing to it in the room until the children ask what you are listening to, then plug into a speaker and have a dance party!

-Using a deck of cards, begin to wordlessly walk around the room placing cards in a variety of spots. When you’ve gained their attention, play a seek and find game: name a card for them to find.

-Bring a pile of dress up items into the room, slowly begin to put them on. (Hat, gloves, feather boa, ruffle dress, cape, etc.)

The next time things go a bit crazy with the kids don’t hit the panic button – hit the restart button!

Patricia Dischler is Author of , “From Babysitter To Business Owner: Getting The Most Out Of Your Home Child Care Business” and “Because I Loved You: A Birthmother’s View Of Open Adoption.” For more tips,  read “Kid Biz Newsletter,” an ezine featuring tips, tricks, and information for the child care professional. Subscribe at http://www.patriciadischler.com.